Blog for August 5th:
The lovely ceramic mug with a dragonfly came from my friend Tara. She sent it from Alaska, saying she was not sure it was an appropriate gift, but it was her way of sending comfort.
It has brought me comfort. Since I have my own mug, I went out and bought special coffee beans. Now that I have a mug, I take the time in the morning to fill it with coffee and sit on the porch before Dad wakes up. Sometimes I write, other times I listen to the birds. The baby cardinals are flitting through the bushes of their nestling days. Golden finches perch on nearby branches. Even small hawks swoop through the trees. I listen to the wind through the leaves and feel autumn in the back of the northwest wind. I am savoring these last weeks of summer.
I heard from my friend Edna this week. She is busy in Kake, Alaska putting fish up for the winter. This is an all-consuming job and she says a pot of coffee is just what it takes to pull her through. She asks the same question I do: Why is there never enough time? We speed up, and the days slip away even faster. Maybe the trick is to slow down.
I have been accused of doing too much/giving too much/wearing myself out to the point of destructiveness. Usually it is men that tell me this. I think men have been telling women this since time began. There is some truth to it. I will own that, although I admit that men usually benefit from this arrangement and only complain when women get crabby.
I am like many other women. We see what needs to be done, and when our portion is finished, we take on someone else’s work. There is a dangerous beauty to this. Sometimes I think if all the women in the world sat down when they were tired, the world as we know it would stop. Maybe that would be OK.
I know my world would not be as clean, or organized, or as full of good things to eat. Nevertheless, it might be calmer. I would not be as widely admired as a person that gets things done, but perhaps I would be easier to live with. Maybe my list-driven life is not improving the world as much as a more peaceful approach. I am ready to try it.
I always think of that saying by Rabindranath Tagore:
“God respects when I work, but he loves me when I sing”.
Reader, it may not seem possible for you to drop one thing you are carrying on burdened shoulders. I wish you strength. I also hope that you can find refuge in sleep that restores your spirit, and a moment to reflect, maybe just half a mug’s worth, and it brings you some peace. As for me, I am going to refill my mug…
I love that quote! I am joining you and having a cup of coffee with you. Seaweed’s dry & bagged up, salmon is in jars or vacuum sealed bags, now for the dryfish…hang in there and enjoy the ride.
I’m joining with a can of Diet Pepsi and a bowl of brown/wild rice pilaf. I can’t believe I’ve been away for over a week. Will call soon….